Are you seeking some self love? Feeling empty? Lethargic? Self conscious? Are you comparing yourself to almost EVERY living breathing human round you? (especially on Instagram/social media? Did your friend just get that high paying job or is everyone on your FB engaged now!?) Then you, have come to the right place. This is an open outlet, to be sinfully vulnerable yet self aware with a hunger to build more love within yourself. Because if can’t love ourselves then WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE?
Now if anyone knows how it feels to lack a whole lotta self love, its me.. well me in the past because thankfully some of the teeny weeny things i’m going to suggests you do REALLY HELPED ME!
Here’s ten life changes I made/am still working hard to do every day in order to build more self love.
Take em or leave em, butttttt IT CAN’T HURT TO TRY..
No 1 | GO TO THE GYM.. and no not so you can have that perfect body you’ve been idolising forever.. just like that girl who wears the tiny yellow bikinis on Instagram who has a cracking tan! (she’s fit) BUT i’m suggesting you exercise because it releases your happy endorphins, makes you feel amazing and in control. Literally, do 2o minutes every other day for a week.. thats 20 minutes less time on social media and 20 minutes contributing to your own happiness and wellbeing. Once you start at 20 minutes you’ll love it after a while and actually do more. I can now do a full 20 min on the treadmill + other exercises and I ENJOY IT.
If you can’t access a gym because its 20 min away and that demotivates you even more then youtube search some 2o minute blast workouts and get hopping around your bedroom/kitchen. You’ll thank yourself, trust me.
The main difference exercise is giving to my life is that I feel in control, I feel like i’m getting stronger and after every work out I feel a sense of achievement which then triggers me to want to achieve even more throughout the day.
N0 2 | PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR THOUGHTS.. what do you say in your head about yourself when you get ready in the morning?
I used to be SO guilty of negative thinking. It is so easy to pull yourself apart in your own mind because no one can hear you or is disagreeing with you therefore you will eventually start to BELIEVE the shit you’re telling yourself. Grab a pen and paper or notes on your phone and list 10 things you’re thinking about yourself as you get ready. You will naturally, be focussing on the things you don’t like.. for example I have suffered with my skin since I was about 13 years old and it used to make me so miserable. I’d apply my make up several times in the morning and then cry and start all over again because I couldn’t cover up my spots. It’s ALL I saw, and its all I thought anyone else could see. What I failed to do, understandably, was to focus on other parts of my face or body, parts that I may have liked. I also failed to recognised that these things were so tiny, time consuming and unimportant in the grand scheme of things.
Getting to my point.. I challenge you to listen to your thoughts as you get ready in the morning or when you look in the mirror and pay attention to how damaging they may be. Would you say them to someone else? If not then its likely that they are unkind. I challenge you to actively turn them around, tell yourself that you are BEAUTIFUL, even if you don’t believe it because you ARE and your eventually WILL believe it. You believe all the negative things so why not try and see if you can believe the truth?
No 3 | Something tangible.. if you’re at all like me you may be impatient and want instant results. (eye roll to myself)
Here are some teeny things I do practically that have a big impact on my self worth/achievement.
Tidy YO ROOM.. and reorganise all your shit.. make it look pretty! Light a candle in process and listen Taylor Swift Reputation because that fixes everything (promise). Having a clean space to live in makes you feel amazing, and if you’re already a super tidy super fox then HIGH FIVE! Maybe order some nice candles sit back and relax and take pride that you’re a step head of all of us out here.
No 4 | CUT OUT NEGATIVE PEOPLE… please. (this one’s a bit deeper)
I found this one of the most challenging things to do, because a lot of our closest friends and family struggle with negativity whether they realise it or not and it no way is it a strong enough reason to end a relationship. However it is also important to have a look around at the people you spend the majority of your time with. Do they encourage you and contribute to your happiness? Do they bring joy? or do they happen to be part of your low self esteem. If someone is actively going out of their way to belittle you, then take a few steps back. If your partner makes negative comments about your appearance that are damaging, then take a few steps back. Have a look at how much this is impacting your self worth and wellbeing. In no way is anyone else responsible for your self love BUT people can grind you down to a place of low self worth and insecurity. After leaving my hometown 4 years ago I made it a goal of mine to no longer surround myself with people who were toxic and who did not love or respect me. I stepped away from harsh, negative friendships and confided in people who helped build me up. Its so hard to do, and is not something that happens over night. But when you take your life by the horns and accept NOTHING BUT the utmost respect from those around you will be happier and you will feel full. Friends – are meant to hold you when you’re in pain, love you when you feel unlovable and encourage you to be everything you desire. They are NOT people who make snide comments about your weight, who tell you your dreams are too big or who fail to honour your trust. Stay away from them because you are worth the purest kind of love there is.
No 5 | THE ART OF NOT GIVING A FUCK!!
Hands down, BEST self help book I’ve read in a while. I haven’t even read the last chapter yet and I’m IN LOVE. The book highlights how YOU have the choice whether or not to care about something or not. You have the choice every single day to decide what you let affect you or not. We have SO much control yet pass that control over to external things such as our jobs, our relationships or even the weather. When we accept responsibility for our lives and our actions we give ourselves the opportunity to make a change, and a change for the better. READ THE BOOK, NOW. You can even get the audio version which is amazing to listen to whilst on the morning commute.
I could give you 100 things that I’ve tried and tested, but us as humans tend to get overwhelmed with long lists of things we ‘need’ to do to feel better. So I’ve made a small, hopefully tangible one to help you on your way.
I’m open to any feedback and any requests to add more on this page of mine!